I love love LOVE this description and couldn’t agree with it more. From Sarah Day on offbeatmama.com.

“Many doulas, myself included, have opinions about the benefits and risks of medical and non-medical birth. Some of them may have opinions about your choice to deliver in a hospital. And you know what? It’s really not their place to judge how you choose to experience your birth, because it’s your birth.

You don’t need to defend your choices to anyone. A good doula will want to empower you to make healthy, well-educated decisions with which you’re comfortable, period. Her entire job is to support you through your birth experience. It shouldn’t matter where that experience takes place or what interventions are involved.”

A great comparison

I was re-reading parts of Marsden Wagner’s ” Creating your Birth Plan”, and came across a paragraph that stood out to me…

“At its physical and emotional best, support for women in labor has always reminded me of dolphin birth. When a dolphin gives birth to a calf, several female dolphins swim in a circle close to the laboring mother. Slightly farther away, another larger group of all the remaining females in the pod also circle around the laboring dolphin. Then, even farther away, all the male dolphins in the pod circle around her. The entire collective comes together to protect the laboring dolphin and her emerging calf from intrusion and harm. A woman giving birth to a baby thrives when she’s at the center of a circle of love.”

Women should always be surrounded by those who are going to uplift and support her during what could very well be the most defining moments of her life. Husbands, partners, friends, other children, doulas, midwives, nurses, doctors…they can all help to form that circle of protection around a laboring mother.

And on that note, a word to dad’s or other close support people of the laboring woman-

“It’s awfully hard sometimes to watch the person you love in pain or frustrated or discouraged with a lack of progress. And there’s a tendency to want to rescue her from that. Partners do not have the objective, calm perspective and experience that a woman needs and a doula has.”-Penny Simkin

I would argue that not all partners feel this way (my own husband says that he never felt like he wanted to “rescue” me from the intensity of my labor, because he knew I was doing it how I wanted to all along). But it is beneficial to have someone present at birth who doesn’t have the strong emotional connection to the laboring woman. I tell clients and friends that it is the people who will be present in your life well after the birth of your baby that are so important as support. But it is the doula (or midwife, etc) who can be objective during your labor because we don’t have that deep rooted foundation.

 

Doula’s and Dad’s

Let’s start the conversation this way: I am going to use the term “Dad” and “Husband” here, just because it’s easiest. You can substitute partner, wife, mother, etc. as you need.

So, what about Dad? Isn’t it kind of unnecessary to have a birth doula attend you when you already have the help of your partner? Won’t she step on his toes?  You don’t want him to feel awkward and useless, right? Right. Read on.

Here is the summary of what I’m about to include in this post: A doula does not take the place of your partner. A doula will be able to enhance your partner’s ability to assist you in your labor and birth.

Here are a few ways a doula will work with your partner to help you achieve the birth you both desire:

1. She can help you apply what you learned in childbirth classes. In other words, your partner won’t have to remember everything you learned when you’re in the thick of labor and all you want is something done. now.

2. She can relieve your partner of his duties to you if he needs to go eat something, take a quick nap (he wishes ), make a phone call, say hi to the kids, etc. allowing him to do these things without feeling horribly guilty for leaving you alone… because you won’t be.

3. She can bring you anything you need (ice pack, drinks, birth ball, etc.), allowing your partner to remain by your side. (See the theme here? Mom won’t ever be left alone.)

4. She can help your partner try to understand the sensations you may be feeling, where you are in labor, what might be coming next, what the doctor/midwife/nurse just mumbled. educate and reassure.

5. If your partner isn’t comfortable with the responsibility of being your sole source of support, a doula can help him help you. (an example of this: mom is in deep labor, needs something to help her back pain, your partner tries rubbing it like he normally would and it does nothing but irritate you. A doula can help him to apply a different sort of pressure, in a different spot, right where the baby is putting pressure while he/she descends through the birth canal.) Men were never in the labor room until relatively recently. Birth is typically women’s work, as seen throughout the world and history. Father’s should be as involved in the birth of their child as they wish, in my opinion, but there’s a reason an experienced woman can be of benefit to a man who will never experience childbirth.

Personally, I really enjoy helping couples gather any information they need pre-labor and generally just educating them about the labor process. I find that this is a great time for husbands to ask questions and we get to know each other, so that when birth day comes we are able to work as a team to assist mom. My priority is always to help whomever will be at the birth feel as useful and comfortable as possible in helping the laboring woman. They will spend their lives looking at that mother/child and remembering the birth…I am there for but a short time.

(The Birth Partner Penny Simkin, P.T. 2001)

 

 

Planning a hospital birth? Educate!

When most of us think of childbirth, we think of the Hospital as the place of delivery, as we should. 99% of births in the US occur in Hospitals. Though families choosing to birth their babies at home or in free-standing birth centers is on the rise, it is a very small rise, and still only around 1% of them do so.

I am an advocate for home birth, so long as the mom and baby are low-risk and they are attended by a trained, experienced, and knowledgeable midwife. Statistics are very good under these circumstances that you will end up with a healthy mom and baby following delivery. At home, you are on your own turf. There are no “routine” hospital policies to deal with, no foreign germs hanging around, and you choose who is there during your birth. If this is what you plan, go for it. I doubt you will regret your decision.

But for the women who want to be in the hospital to deliver their babies, and their reasons are their own, educate yourselves. For the love of God, educate yourselves. If you only get a five to ten minute visit with your care provider once a month, and you have questions, you need to take it into your own hands and do some solid research.

Want to avoid a cesarean? Find out what your providers cesarean rate is, what the practice cesarean rate is (if you see more then one care provider within an office) and what the cesarean rate is for the hospital you plan to deliver at. If you are at a practice with a primary (aka: first cesarean) cesarean rate of 40%, look for someone else, and don’t feel bad about it. (The World Health Organization warns against Cesarean rates higher than 10-15%) You might love the doctor/midwife you see regularly, but if they work with other people within the same practice, chances aren’t so good they will be the ones on call for your delivery.

Want a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean)? Find a provider who supports it, has a good VBAC rate (75% or higher) and if you plan on delivering in the hospital, do it at one that has the highest VBAC rate in your area. (In Rochester, that would be Highland Hospital.)

Have a birth plan written up? It probably includes things such as “no continuous fetal monitoring, no routine IV, no pitocin, I want freedom of movement, I want to push when I feel like it, not when someone tells me to, baby right on my chest when they are born, delayed cord-clamping, etc”. And these are all GREAT THINGS. Wonderful things. Things I would recommend to any of my doula clients…to my own sisters.

But if you are delivering in the hospital, you better stay home for most of your labor, have a doula, and have a truly supportive care provider. Please don’t expect to be able to walk into the hospital in early labor, without anyone advocating for you, and with an on-call doctor unfamiliar to you, and expect your birth plan to be followed.

There are routines in hospitals. There is very easy access to technology, which makes it very easy to use. There are other laboring women who need the attention of your doctor/midwife and your nurse. And chances are that your spouse/boyfriend/whoever, is going to be kind of freaked out by the intensity of labor and feel like a deer in headlights at times. (Mass generalization here…some partners are excellent labor companions.)

Please don’t misunderstand me. I have had two hospital births. One surgical, one med-free. Did I consider a home birth for the birth of my daughter, who was a VBAC? Sure. But let’s be honest here. Insurance covered a hospital birth, and in my heart of hearts, for whatever reason, I felt most comfortable delivering her in the hospital with my midwives. Did I stay home for the vast majority of my labor? Oh yes.

What I’m saying here, is that everyone wants their birth to go the way they dream it will. And it can, if you do some homework during your pregnancy (or preferably before!) and set yourself up to succeed. Things do happen sometimes that throw your ideas of your birth out the window, but if you have gone into it prepared and educated, take heart that whatever had to happen truly did.  If you go to the hospital completely unprepared and unsupported, expect the hospital ride.

“One of the things I feel really sad about is our culture where the message is that women can’t have a good childbirth experience without turning themselves over to the control and interventions of the medical community. Starting parenthood with the notion that somebody else has to manage the process is not empowering.” Marcie K. Richardson, an Obstetrician at Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates and an instructor at Harvard Medical School. Quoted from the book “Get me Out, a History of Childbirth from the Garden of Eden to the Sperm Bank” by Randi Hutter Epstein, M.D.

Onward and Upward

Wow, it’s been a while! Lets see….

Baby #2 has arrived. Emery is more amazing then I could have dreamed. Her birth was a med-free VBAC, and the moments after she was born will forever remind me of how strong women really are, how strong I really am.

I am now the Community Resource Coordinator for the Rochester Area Birth Network. Exciting things on the horizon….look to the right and check us out.

ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) of Rochester has a new leader…yours truly. SO EXCITED about this. I can’t wait to get the ball rolling. Meeting tonight with the previous leader to “hand over the reigns” so to speak.

Doula work is once again a possibility, since I’m not huge and pregnant anymore! Taking clients now that are due in the coming months.

More later!

Thoughts on Home Birth

Home birth has been on my mind lately, and after a meeting with a client today, I felt compelled to share this quote out of Marsden Wagner’s book “Born in the USA: how a broken maternity system must be fixed to put women and children first”. I recommend any woman who is a sister, mother, friend, expecting mother etc. to check out this book. The maternity care crisis in the United States doesn’t just effect birthing women, it effects all women and the people who love them.
“It is important to note that in every country that has a lower maternal mortality rate than the United States-or a lower infant mortality rate- it is midwives, not obstetricians, who manage normal pregnancies and births. In some of these countries a significant percentage of births take place in homes and out-of-hospital birthing centers. Studies that allow us to compare low-risk births attended by obstetricians and low-risk births attended by midwives show midwives to be safer, less expensive, and more likely to facilitate a satisfying experience for the mother and family.”

While trying to compile a solid resource list on the safety of homebirth for women with low-risk pregnancies, I am constantly brought back to Dr. Wagner’s book. I think there’s something to be said for the safety of homebirth when the former Director of Women’s and Children’s Health in the World Health Organization speaks out for it. Thoughts?

-”To remain silent and indifferent is the greatest sin of all”-Elie Wiesel

Hello world!

Hey guys! Welcome to my first ever website/blog thing Take a look around, leave comments, and share with your friends who would be interested! Planning on keeping this pretty up to date, but forgive me if I slack in the actual blogging department…I made this mostly as a resource, and will try to keep it to only topics relevant to the reason I created this!